High School Secrets
by Hard2Handle
Summary: All the drama of New Kent High School as I see it. Boys, friends, boys, homework, boys, teachers, boys, and afterschool activitiesif you catch my drift. Oh, and did I meantion boys? This is the story of my high school life.


CHAPTER 1 **Just a warning.Thoughts and feeling described in this story are real.So are the events, I just have a harder time remembering details about them**.

Homecoming. What a gimmick. I hated the idea of dressing up but dressing up and freezing my butt off too! No way. It was gonna take a whole lot of convincing on Jordan's(my best friend) part. She begged and pleaded and when that didn't work, she kicked and screamed. Eventually I gave in. I mean it was my first year in high school, why not? And then I realized I'd be going to the Dance afterward. Hold on wait a minute, no, I do not dance.Nuh-uh!Then she found out I didn't have a date to the Homecoming Dance.Oh Lord, that was a big mistake. She planned and plotted until she found someone. That someone happened to be her Ex-Boyfriend, Nathan. Which was just wrong. Isn't there some sort of rule where you don't date your best friend's ex?That was what I was thinking as we made our way to the football field. I was biting my nails like crazy and then Jordan asked the inevitable...

"What are you gonna tell him?" she asked, referring to a conversation we had earlier where she told me Nathan was going to ask me out.

"uh..I don't know...yes?No?..Arg!" I sighed in frustration. What would I tell him? I smoothed out my top as I sat down on the bleachers, trying to think.

"I thought you liked him!" she said grinning. There was no foolin' her...

"I do, but look at my history. We both know I can't keep a guy. You might as well place a bet on how long this one will last." I said glumly. My past relationships were just prime examples of my fears of commitment.

"Well, here's your next chance. He's coming this way!" She smiled politely as Nathan greeted us. After a while he asked if I would walk with him. I swallowed hard. Here goes nothing. Jordan whispered in my ear" Do whatever feels right honey!"...ugh...I hated when she left things up to me. We started around the football field and he put his hand in mine. After a while he stopped. This was it...

"Tracie?" he asked quietly.

"Yes Nathan?"

I have something to ask you...something personal..."he said trailing off. I gulped. What should I say!...

**CHAPTER 2 Dun-dun-dah! dramatic drum roll "Tracie...Will you go out with me?"...**

"Yes, of course I will." I said smiling my brightest smile, just for him. He's a nice guy. I will be fine. Or so I thought...We kissed and kept walking. Jordan gave me a sly 'you go girl!' kind of look. And so for the rest of the night I felt fine. I would go so far to say as I was loved. I t was a nice feeling. Too bad it wouldn't last.2 weeks later I broke it off.Sad,yes.Even sadder, 1.5 weeks later we went out again. Can you say disaster?

But such is my life. Sometimes it seems like one disaster after another.

Now after that fiasco(which involved many a persons yelling at me, some moving, lots of interesting stuff) things weren't the same. I found myself in a sort of rut. I mean I loved Nathan but I just couldn't see him as more than a close friend. Jordan was alright with my decision to move on(for the most part).But in this process of failed relationships I gained a couple of friends. Enter Ryan and Billy. Ryan is a complete dummy sometimes and Billy is just funny. Both have become close friends of mine. I love them both so much(as friends of course!).Now, while I was going out with Nathan I caught myself looking at this one guy in my English class. His name was Jack. He would talk to me occasionally(apparently my pen tapping got on his nerves) and we would even having staring contests when we got bored. Suddenly, I finally had some inspiration to write my 2nd story. I also started to smile more. Things finally were starting to look up for me. Was it because of this one guy that I barely knew?...Nah...couldn't be. Well unfortunately Jordan caught on(she always does).

"Tracie?"

"Hmmm?"

"Tracie!"

"Hmmmm?"

"Tracie, you are staring ..." she said grinning at the blush creeping up my cheeks.

"Uh..no I wasn't.Oh shoot." I said as she gave me that knowing look, the one that said 'alright, what are you up to?'. Confession time."Jordan.I have to tell you. Don't tell Nathan!"

"You like Jack don't you?" she said sitting down beside me on a bench outside. The wind had begun to blow and we smushed together for warmth.

"Yes...Jordan I laid on his arm in English and told him he was comfy!" I said putting my head in my hands. She laughed.

"Honey, I know you don't like Nathan. As much as he bugs me to ask u out for him again, I cant. I could tell you were crushing on some one else. It's about time..."she smiled." Don't worry. Little Sister is gonna hook you up." And with that she walked away...

**CHAPTER3 Oh no. Jordan's match-making isn't the best. At least this time I actually liked the guy.  
**As Jordan walked off I couldn't help but wonder if this one would end up like the last. I planned on everything going south this time around. A week went by an there was no talk of it. I had just about given up when one day in English class I felt a tap on my shoulder..

"Tracie?" said the voice behind me, waking me from my notes-induced coma "Here." I unfolded the note and read the sentence in front of me. I shook my head in disbelief. Then I read it again to make sure. No...is he crazy! He had just asked me out. Doesn't he know I am the heart-breaking queen(as Jordan had once put it)?Then came the voice in my head...'You like him, you know you do! Just do it! One more chance!'..Ah,that voice had got me in trouble on more than one occasion. My hand shook as I forced pen to paper.

"Yes" was the simple response. I glanced to make sure the teacher wasn't looking, then handed him the paper. The response was he had to clear up a few things before we could officially 'go out'.Ok then.

A few days later snow was falling as I sat in Science class. No one could concentrate as we waited for the announcement saying we were home free.Mrs.Schureman had given up trying to teach us and had let us talk for a while. I talked with Emily-Anne and Ryan for a while. All we could think of was what we were gonna do when we got home.

"I'm gonna ride my 4-wheeler in the snow! Maybe I'll get Nathan to come over." Ryan said.

"I wish I had a 4-wheeler.Lucky!"I said to Ryan as he grinned.

"You? On a 4-wheeler?Oh lord.."he said, teasing me. I stuck my tongue out at him playfully and was about to say something when the intercom cut me off..

"Due to the inclement weather we will be dismissing early today. The next bell will be Riders & Drivers" If they said anything after that I couldn't hear it, the entire class had jumped up and we were all whooping and hollering. Not long after that I made my way outside to the sidewalk, looking for the rest of the gang. I was about to turn around and head inside when a snowball hit me upside the head. It didn't take me long to figure out the culprit.

"Ryan, I swear! You throw one more snowball at me..ooph!"My sentence was cut off by another snowball, this time to the back. Ryan laughed as he pointed to Nathan who was behind me." You two are horrible!" I yelled, but I grinned none the less. Jordan had seen the whole event and came up to me laughing.

"Cold honey?" she said as the rest of the group gathered round.

"Nah.Just a little...ACK!" I cried out and jumped up and down as a lump of snow slid down my back. A laughing Andrew appeared at my side as I shook the snow off me.

"Sorry" he said nudging Ryan "I couldn't resist!"

As I backed up I felt a arm slide around my waist. When I turned my head there was Jack,smilling.The heat from his body felt good and I had no problem snuggling up against him. It was perfect. Until...

"Hey Tracie!" came an overly cheerful voice." Its a bit cold ain't it? But I do love the snow. don't you!"

Sigh." Yes Erika, I love the snow" I said trying to snuggle up to Jack even more, maybe she would take the hint...

"Yep, I hope we miss school tomorrow. Do you think we will?..."She droned on for what seemed like forever. She never really left, she just stood there! Fortunately Allen through a snowball at her at she moved just long enough for Jack to kiss me. For a brief moment nothing else mattered. But then I had to go, Jordan was calling me, the buses were gonna leave, Erika was yapping, my pants were falling down, and Ryan was getting ready to throw another snowball. All good things must end...

or do they?

**CHAPTER 4Things were going great, I felt like nothing could bring me down. Life was beautiful. Little did I know I would be my own downfall.**  
"Awww...my little Tracie is growing up!" came the voice from the doorway. I pulled myself off Jack long enough to stick my tongue out at Jordan playfully as she walked by." As long as yall aren't doing that at the bonfire, I'll be fine. I'd like to have Tracie all to myself if you don't mind!" she said to Jack, a sharp edge creeping into her voice. She's not too fond of Jack by the way.

"Oh, I don't think I'm gonna be able to go to the bonfire. I'm gonna be busy." he said looking at me. Jordan walked off, leaving us a lone again. I could have sworn I heard her say 'jackass' before she left. You never know with Jordan.

"Oh..." I said. I wanted to say 'don't leave me again! I want you to be with me!' but I didn't. It's hard, being a girlfriend to someone you hardly know. But I love him all the same. I have a hard time telling him things because I'm not sure how he will react. But I would find out soon enough. We left each other as normal, with a kiss good-bye. I walked with Jordan to my bus and she made sure I didn't forget about the bonfire!

"Don't worry! I won't forget. You don't forget to call me with directions!" I yelled as the bus started to pull away and I waved out the window. This weekend was going to be fun. Of course it wouldn't be the same without Jack there. I admit, I was a lil mad...ok maybe really mad. It seemed like he never wanted to spend time with me. That upset me. Jordan too, I'm pretty sure that's why she doesn't like him. Anyway, on to the bonfire.

And my 4-wheeler adventure.Oh joy.

When we got there we talked to Bernard and Nathan and then the idea of 4-wheelers came up. Nathan pulled up in his and offered us a ride to the fire site. I climbed on, Jordan was reluctant.

"Come on J.J.! It'll be fun!" I called to her over top of the noise of the 4-wheeler.She stood there like a deer in the headlights, shaking her head. Finally my mom and daddy convinced her to get on. We both held on tight. It was fun I thought, Jordan was still a lil wary. But that would change soon enough. Once Jake arrived we stole Nathan's other 4-wheeler and headed to the trails. At first I was scared, who wouldn't be with Jake driving! But after a while you couldn't get me off of there.

Now me and Jordan schemed. I shouldn't have to tell you what about. I was going to get back at Jack for leaving me, by flirting with Nathan. It was awful of me, yes, but then it seemed like a pretty good plan. And it worked. By the end of the night we kissed and he wanted to know when me and Jack were going to break up. I told him no time soon, and that's when I realized what exactly I had done. And with more than a handful of witnesses, I was in deep trouble. Monday morning was going to be a handful...

**chapter 5I will never forget the day I almost messed up my life…again.**  
I've never been so quiet on the way to school before. This feeling inside me was going to destroy everything. It was horrible. I made my way to drawing with my brother-like estranged friend,aka. Ryan. He witnessed what had gone on at the bonfire and was willing to offer some advice...

"Did you tell him yet?" he asked as we attempted to finish our house drawings.

"No. I plan on doing it today, but I'm scared." I said solemnly.

"You should tell him. Do it in Science." he said, not taking his eyes off his work's sighed and went back to work. I couldn't do it then...but I would. Because as fate would have it Ryan told Andrew. And as soon as we got into Science they were bugging me. Ryan looked back at me with Andrew at his side and mouthed" have you told him yet?"

"No! Both of yall be quiet!" I said fiercely, motioning with my finger sliding across my neck. This is when Andrew decided to take matters into his own hands.

"Jack! Jack, come here!" he said grinning

"Andew!Nooo!" I said practically yelling at him. Suddenly he changed his mind, but Jack was already out of his seat.

"What?" he asked.

"Tracie has something to tell you." He said, and suddenly those gorgeous eyes were on me.

"What? What do you have to tell me?" he asked, his expression unreadable.  
"I tell you later." I said, motioning away.Oh, that feeling was back. What if I lose him? What if he hates me for the rest of my life? What if...?My mind was racing but my heart was slowing down. It felt like a lead balloon in my chest. I knew I had to tell him now, what else could I do? I wrote everything down, my hand shaking all the while. Tears fell from my eyes as I folded it up and tossed it to him. This was it. I was scared, so very scared and worried.

Another note was thrown back. He forgave me. He said I had one more chance. I quickly wiped my eyes and hoped and prayed that he didn't see my tears. Never let him see you cry...I always told myself. I love him, but I couldn't help but wonder. Would I ever need that second chance?

**Chapter 6A second chance. Funny how things aren't what they seem…**  
You know how sometimes you get the feeling that you're in over your head? Well, have you ever felt that way about a relationship? I did. The kind of relationship where you really don't want it to end and when it does you know it's going to hurt like crazy?Yeah, that's the way I felt about me and Jack. I knew going into it that in the end...if it ever came...I would die from the heartache. But you know, that's life. You have to live and love, but when the two collide...it can be hard.

That was the first time I actually felt my heart shatter into a million pieces, and there was no way I could pick them up off the floor in the middle of class. I had rushed into class and sat down in my seat before being marked tardy. Emily was already there and she looked up from her book.

"Hey. You know we have a quiz right?" she said over top her book. I threw my stuff onto the floor and began digging through my books." It's open-notes though so don't panic too much"

"Oh, ok then. Good." I said sighing. My day was heading downhill fast and the last thing I needed was to fail a quiz. But little did I realize it was going to get worse. I felt a tap on my shoulder and when I looked, there was Jack." Hey honey." I said. He handed me a note.

"It's bad." he said looking at me solemnly. I looked at him and took the note from his hand. He walked back to his seat. I opened the note and with every sentence I could feel my heart cracking. By the end of it I was in tears. My body shook with the sobs I was trying to suppress. But I controlled myself but I knew inside that it was over. Call it what you want but when you 'calm down' it's usually just the nice way of saying 'I like someone else. I want to let you down easy before we officially break-up'. I wrote back my answer and we agreed to talk at lunch. But there was no going back, I knew that.

I went to health with Ashley as normal. But when I walked in the door it was like someone threw a switch on my mood. It went from holding-back-sadness-gloomy to frickin-pissed-off-depressed-sobbing.I grabbed a health book and threw it with all of my strength. It landed in my chair with a crash (thank god Ms. Ellis wasn't in there). I strode over to my seat and tried to gather what was left of my pride before anyone saw me in my sorriest state. I laid my head on my arms and Ashley comforted me. I dried up the tears as people started to file into class.

I couldn't imagine what kind of conversation was awaiting me as the bell finally rang for us to go to lunch. I was scared. I walked up to Jordan, threw the note at her, and left to go sit with the guys. I sat and waited for Jack. It was killing me not knowing what would happen. I talked to Bernard and Ryan for a while, trying my best to seem normal. Jack sat down beside me and as I turned to face him I saw Jordan. She stared at me with sad eyes, she knew. She also knew she would have to be the one to help me live, to help me face this new loneliness. She has seen this so many times with me. She's the one who would always help me pick up the pieces of my shattered heart. I couldn't meet her gaze any longer and I turned to Jack. We sat silent for a while, neither one of us bringing up the topic we had to face. Finally he said something…and we talked. I told him if this was what had to happen then fine. My heart was screaming 'What is wrong with you! You're gonna let another one walk all over you, all because you want him to be happy?'. I laid my head on his shoulder and cried, trying my best to hide it.

"Don't cry babe…" he said looking at me. Those eyes. Those lips. I couldn't forget this one. He blew at my hair as I buried my face from sight. I laughed and smiled at him, as I wiped my eyes. I laid my arm on his leg like I usually do and for the rest of lunch it seemed like nothing was wrong. We walked to English like nothing was wrong. We sat down one in front of the other, like nothing was wrong. He rubbed my back and arms as we talked before class and it seemed like my heart was attempting to come back together after a un-forgettable day. We went out during busloads and we were at each others side until we had to leave. We kissed and said our goodbyes. He said I love you.

Something wasn't right. Whatever it was it was driving me insane. How can we go on like this when we just attempted to separate? Something is up, and this time I'm not going to let him walk out without knowing.

**chapter 7 God!What next! Hopefully Im not the only one that's confused.  
**I walked into class that following Monday knowing inside that I could move on. I spent the weekend with my heart torn into pieces, wondering if I had done something wrong. Thank God for friends.Everyone was there for me,telling me that things would be fine.Billy told me the best thing for me to do was to go out and have some fun.And the more I thought about it the more I agreed with him.So I did, I had some friends over and we acted like a bunch of 8 year olds, running around with nerf guns. It was the most fun I had had in a while. So I thought things would be fine. No, better yet, I knew things would be great when I walked into Science class Monday. We agreed to be friends, so what was the problem? Ryan knew 'bout everything and he found the whole situation funny. Of course he thought it was funny, he didn't even like Jack! ANYWAY…I sat down in my chair and turned it around so I could lay me head on the counter.I had my feet propped up on the table untill I heard…

"Tracie Mooneyham! Get your feet off that table! Where do you think you are, at home?" Mrs.Shureman said from the front of the classroom.I know she was playing around but I took them down anyway.

"Yes, Mrs.Shureman…." I said taking my feet off the table top. But the minute she turned away they went back up on our table.Emily just shook her head.

"You know, one of these days, she's not gonna be nice about it and she's gonna give you a refurral."

"I know, I know…but in the mean time, don't we have a quiz today?" I asked, not opening my eyes. I was sprawled out with my hands under my head on the counter and my feet propped up on the table. Dang, this was comfortable.

"Yeah, on chapter 4, I think." she said pulling out her folder. I laid there, listening to my surroundings. I listened as she shuffled through papers,as Ashley sat down on the end and put her stuff on the floor. As people filled into class I could hear short clips of conversations and feel the eyes of my peers as they looked at my sleeping form. I knew my nap wouldn't be long because at that moment Ryan and Andrew strolled into class ( I could hear Ryan's boots and Andrew's distinct shuffle). It wasn't long before some object was thrown at me. I cracked open one eye and saw them grinning.Oh well. One glance at the clock told me I had about 5 minutes before class really got started. But at the exact moment that I closed my eyes I heard the most annoying noise (no, not Ryan's turkey call) ,tapping on a desk. I grumbled and looked around. Oh man, it was Jack.I looked at him and he looked back.

"You ok?" he said.The tapping stopped. Sigh.

"Yeah, Im just a 'lil tired" I said laying my head back onto the counter. Peace at last.

Tap.Tap.Tap.Tap…………ok,so much for that.

"Stop tapping on the damn desk!" I said looking back at him.I couldn't help but crack a grin as he tapped even louder and faster. "Arg!" was my response, but in my haste to go back to sleep I slammed my head on the counter.

"Owww!Grrr…" I said sitting up and rubbing my head.Both Emily and Jack laughed. Hmph..friends…I wimpered as class began.I continued sitting sideways so I could take notes, catching some shut eye whenever possible.But someone was looking at me, I could feel it.I cracked one eye open to see Jack looking at me.The dim light reflected off his glasses in the dark room and he had his head across his arms. I opened both eyes and shot him a curious look, why on earth was he staring at me like that? He just sat there silently not taking his eyes off mine.It was making me uncomfortable so I laid my head back down and continued to sleep. After a while I couldn't feel his stare but someone was tapping me.

"Tracie!…Tracie!…Jack wants you." the voice whispered.Suddenly I was being handed a note. I swallowed hard and opened it up. My then uncaring mood shifted to a mixture of happy and confused.He missed me?Huh?He can't stop thinking about me?Wait, it was he who wanted to break up.I grumbled to myself, WHY IS THIS LOVE BUSINESS SO DAMN CONFUSING?

Long chapter short, we talked about it in English and we decided to go out again. He still doesn't know how I feel. I don't even know how he feels! But all I was concerned about then was how good it felt to be in his arms again. How good it felt to be kissed. The thoughts that flew through my head I couldn't begin to describe. I could only think to myself "maybe he does really love me". I'm attached to him and I couldn't care less about what everyone said.For now anyway…


End file.
